How to Reframe Failure for Your Daughter

How to Reframe Failure for Your Daughter

We can all finish the famous proverb, “If at first you don’t succeed…” without even thinking twice. We know the next line by heart as “Try, try, again.” Why? Well, for one reason it is a catchphrase,  but also we have lived it time and time again. We know as mom’s the pathway to success is often lined with failure and walked by those who have dusted themselves off and TRIED one more time. Of course, we don’t like to think about our daughter’s failing at anything. But, we do want them to have the valuable character quality of determination and the skill of knowing how to try again. Your daughter may resist failure but we think it is an important part of growing up. Instead of shielding your daughter from it, here are 3 ways to re-frame it!


Failure is part of trying something new: When we learn something new, there is bound to be a large part of our journey dedicated to failure. Sometimes we forget that failure is actually part of our learning curve. When we miss a basket, strikeout, play an incorrect note, or create something we wouldn’t want to show the world, we learn a little bit more of how to move in the right direction. Each failure can come with a tiny course correction and we will find ourselves moving forward a little bit at a time. Think of someone you admire. Do you imagine they got to the top of their game without missing a few key moments? We all do. If you aren’t failing at something it is probably because you aren’t growing and trying new things! 


Success often comes on the heels of failure! Many people have let failure keep them from succeeding. The truth is, that success often comes on the heels of failure and you can move through it if you reframe it!  Do you know that Thomas Edison made 10,000 attempts before arriving at the “right” prototype for the commercial light bulb? He is famous for saying, “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.” What would have happened if he had let failure keep him from trying again? He would never have been successful! 


Failure helps us find ourselves! You weren’t meant to be a master at everything. When you experience failure, it can actually help you narrow your focus and find what you are truly meant to be doing! Trying again might mean trying a NEW thing. And that new thing might just be THE THING you were born to do. When we see failure as a positive it doesn’t keep us down for long!


Listen mom, it can be heart-wrenching to watch your daughter fail. But, there is great value in her experiencing failure at a young age in the safe haven of your love and care. You might be tempted to protect her from all failure. But in the end, you will send a girl out into the world who has no idea how to handle failure. It takes a strong dose of courage for us to raise confident daughters. We are here to cheer you on. Join our Facebook group for daily encouragement, resources, and training! Find out more here. 



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