How to Have Hard Conversations with your Daughter
In times like these, we need to be willing to lean in, listen, and lead our girls through the sometimes difficult world we live in. If we want to raise courageous girls, we need to demonstrate courage ourselves and have hard conversations with our daughters. Since we are moms, like you, we thought we would give you a few tips on how to start the dialogue with your daughter!
Don't pretend to have all the answers - You might feel like you have to know what to say and have all the answers for your daughter all the time. But the truth is, we can’t possibly know everything. We aren’t supposed to. Though it might feel scary to admit that to your daughter, honesty is always the best place to start. You can say, “You know, that is a great question. I’m not sure I know the answer, but I’m willing to listen to your thoughts, do some of my own research, and we can keep talking about it.” This lets her know that you are keeping an open door for her to come to you and that you will always be truthful with her. Open and honest dialogue is the goal as we are raising our girls to be courageous, and sometimes the most courageous truth we can speak is admitting that we are still learning too.
Look for positive solutions together - Now that you have leaned in and started having a hard conversation, it is time to look for positive solutions together. Teamwork can give you both the courage you need to take the next step and find the answers you are seeking. Ask your daughter if she has any ideas or what solution she would suggest. Make sure you listen to her and give her suggestions a chance to take shape. If you hit a roadblock, offer your own ideas on how to keep moving forward. This will be a valuable lesson not only for her in this particular area, but in learning the skill of working with others to find a solution that works for everyone.
Teach her how to educate herself on things she doesn't understand - At Give Her Courage we focus on education and leadership. One way you can help your daughter is to show her how to find great resources that will enable her to gain a little more understanding on an issue she wants to learn about. Can you take her to the local library, watch a documentary, or introduce her to a thought leader who is an expert in that area? Be sure to preview the content she is reading and watching ahead of time and let her choose from what you are offering to her. This of course will vary depending on the age of your daughter and what she is able to study and understand. Keep in mind that a good leader leads herself to truth first and then shares what she knows with those around her. Your daughter will need consistent encouragement and direction from you as she grows, but it will reap dividends in her life as she becomes a lifelong learner!
It helps to know you aren’t alone. And just as much as your daughter needs you to have hard conversations with her, you need a community around you who understands, can encourage you, and offer timely resources as you seek to raise a courageous and confident girl! We have the perfect place for you in our Facegroup for Super Moms Raising Courageous and Confident Girls! Join us here.